"I'm sorry..there's no heartbeat.
Instead of hearing a heartbeat we heard “I’m sorry there’s no heartbeat"
I am 25 currently leaving in Boston Ma . In September 8th 2017 I found out I was expecting. I was so excited because I wanted to be a mom and I couldn’t believe it was happening to me
I remember one night I was working my Overnight shift at the hotel when I went to the bathroom. I saw some pink mucus- I panicked so much I went to the ER . That night I felt like it was taking for ever to take me in . I was in the ER for 5 hrs so I decided to go home and come back the next day in a few hours
The next day I went back to the Hospital with my husband and they took us to the ultrasound because I wasn’t bleeding or anything anymore . I remember I was so excited to see our little bundle of joy . Instead of hearing a heartbeat we heard “I’m sorry there’s no heartbeat “ I felt like my world felt and broke in so many pieces.
It took me over a year to finally start walking forward and be happy again but I always asked Why GOD WHY ?
December 13 2019 I felt like I was pregnant again and I decided to take pregnancy test at home and there it was 2 lines I couldn’t believe it .
I said GOD please make this one happen. I knew it was my time to finally be a mom after 2 years I was so happy making so many plans . This time I knew this pregnancy was different because this time around me and my husband where in Gods footsteps, we where going to church and I knew that God had a plan for us .
First ultrasound I was so scared but I found out I was 7 weeks exactly and I thought this is how far I was in my last pregnancy when I miscarried so I was excited that my body had hold on to this pregnancy.
I found out that day that I was expecting TWINS!!! I couldn’t believe it and that they were identical twins my husband and I were so happy . We saw heartbeats beating so fast . Second ultrasound came along and I was 8 weeks my babies had grown so much and their hearts where still beating. I was so excited.
At my 11 weeks we had another ultrasound scheduled to see our babies but here I was again in the same spot as I was 2 years ago again I felt numb I didn’t know what to say i was speechless, all I said was WHY WHY me again GOD what are you doing?
Hearing those same words “ sorry we don’t see a heartbeat on both babies." I didn’t want to believe so we had scheduled an appointment for the next day .
I asked God to confirm to be in my dream if the doctor made it a mistake but he sure spoke to me in my dream and showed me that it would be the same results as the previous day . I didn’t want to go to my appointment the next day . Getting there I was nervous and doctor said the same thing . I told my husband “ this is why I didn’t want to come again because I don’t need to hear this again”
They said I had miscarried at 9 weeks 3 days but I don’t even know because this time I felt hungry as usual and I didn’t bleed at all . I cry so much and I blame my body because I felt like it let me down . Why wasn’t my body able to support my babies ?! But I know God has a purpose for me .
I’m still trying to move forward but sometimes I find myself back to last month. I try not to blame myself because everything happens for a reason . I just pray and it helps me to know that I have so many people around me that care for me and going to church and getting prophesied not once but 3 times about Gods promise to me helps me to know that he is with me every step and that he sees my heart every step of the way .
I can Honestly say having GOD in my life this time around has been so comforting because I don’t know where I would be if I didn’t have him in my life now . I have so much faith and so much peace in my heart . God promise me my rainbow baby . I’m just trusting his timing because his timing is perfect. I think about my 3 babies every single day . I know one day I will have my baby in my arms and every day I’m a step closer to it . I can’t wait to give all my love that I have to my rainbow baby but as in now I will praise the Lord because he has come into my life to make me happy in a moment that I needed him the most .
I didn’t get to have an ultrasound from my first pregnancy but I decided to but the pregnancy test in my memory frame to make it know that I remember my first baby .